Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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minorities

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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