Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

thumb_up thumb_down +30

whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops