A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What did the mountain biker say when he saw a double rainbow? This a very rare occurrence in nature, and I should enjoy this rare phenomenon.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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