A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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