A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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69.... is a number

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Guess what? SHADAP

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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