Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Where does a hobo live? A box.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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