Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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girls basketball

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wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

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how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops