Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Diana and victoria

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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