Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Hitler. lol, sucks.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops