What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -29

2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops