What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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Hi Adam,

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Libraries.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? Prosthetic arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops