I like turtoes.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops