Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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i have cancer

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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9/11

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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