What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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YOLO

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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