A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

thumb_up thumb_down +23

you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops