Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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