You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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A hayride would be fun.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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