Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops