Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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Sarah Palin

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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