Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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What color is a banana? yellow.

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Your momma's so fat...

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops