A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

so a baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

What happens when you throw a red rock in a green pond? It sinks.

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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