A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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girls basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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