How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Hi

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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The Holocaust

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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9/11

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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