What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops