how do you make a joke act like yourself

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Obama 2012

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops