A man walks around a bar.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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I went to the store and I fell

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Yo mama is so fat that her dietician often recommends that she decrease her calorie intake and exercise more often to avoid risk of diabetes or potentially a stroke.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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Wumbo

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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