how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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