Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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a Jew had a small nose

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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my bubbles!

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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The NBA lockout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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