What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What do you call a black man on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A:A problem. Q:What do you call the entire race of black people on the moon? A:A problem solved

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your momma's so fat... She's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Knock, Knock The door's open

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops