What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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Oh look, I've found my knife

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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what is not funny? This joke.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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