"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

thumb_up thumb_down

A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops