Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

what is darker than black?... YOU

A fat man on a moped

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

How do you tell if someone is a Jew? Ask them politely.

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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