Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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A man walks around a bar.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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