What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why? Because racecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -18

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whats black. an african american person

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops