What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Kony 2012

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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