A fat man on a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -85

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

1134

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Christians

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down

all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

thumb_up thumb_down

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops