two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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acuna

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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