Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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