Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Animal

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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