Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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