What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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YOLO

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Libraries.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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