a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black guy gets arrested...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo Mamma

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +49

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops