An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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