How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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