- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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