Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Roses are red.

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did the underprivileged girl get for Christmas? Nothing because Santa Claus is a media generated holiday icon and the real St. Nicolas has been deceased for almost 700 years.

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops