A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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