Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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9/11.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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YOLO

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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