What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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