- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.