What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A car walks into a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops