How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Boob

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mitchell palmer sucks

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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I had a submarine.... once

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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