Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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PENIS that is all

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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