Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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kkkk

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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