why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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The AIDS patient was gay

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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