Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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alex is cool

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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Santa isn't real

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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