A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops