A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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And you honored it I see :P

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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PENIS that is all

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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