How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Pianos.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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