How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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