What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops