Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

Pianos.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

Wanna hear a joke? no

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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